kinda related to Tim's previous post
*Disclaimer:
This is by no means the way one ought to consciously behave with friends or acquaintances. They are simply tools for interaction with strangers you wish to influence and persuade.*
The capacity to build and maintain comfort, especially with "strangers", is in my opinion the single most powerful social skill to possess. Humor and wit are key components. Destroy a taboo shield and you strike at the heart and the mind. An immediate sense of intimacy builds.
Cold reading knowledge, fine-tuned intuition (which can be acquired by experience), adaptability, adjusted body language such as mirroring, displaying equal status, social psychology knowledge (the bit where intuition is not very useful), not being self-conscious nor taking anything seriously are other elements.
If a person can combine this with the capacity to control the frame of the interaction, i.e. to undetectably pull the strings, the social game in any context is won.
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2 comments:
Yuppers.
The issue for me wasn't realizing this though, it was retaining (and today - regaining) the control over it.
In my personal belief (and you guys may disagree), I was ahead of the game when I was in high school (compared to our comrades), but when I left for the US, where I was scrutinized for all my actions and where I suffered a mild culture crash, I lost control over it.
Basically, I think that it is more important to learn to (as it is said in French) "trip" with a person than to understand them or to have common knowledge.
In other words, it is important to set yourself into a sort of unconscious conversational drift where in the end of the conversation you really don't come out enlightened but rather satisfied with the act of socializing. And I say this because (unlike most of the social even you both attend) the average person in this world is less interested in your thoughts than to fill/appease their social requirements.
Finally, I believe that more introverted people require more self control to be able to set themselves into this trancelike state and thus a better life balance (an issue i don't want to address here).
I believe that more introverted people require more self control to be able to set themselves into this trancelike state and thus a better life balance (an issue i don't want to address here).
Touché!
I do believe a certain sense of social communion is necessary to achieve proper life balance.
However, I am not certain that being able to do so in a party context or an imbibed context is necessary to reach the aforementioned balance.
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